Kiss Kiss Bang Bang with Teobi
The mutants at STORA have been breeding musical weeds for years. Thus, the in-crowd often jestingly refers to Herzhorn as Schleswig-Holstein's very own Tschernobyl.
Meanwhile STORA has an entire village full of heavily tainted farmer boys in the in the strangle-hold of its contaminated taste. The country youth began constructiung scare-crows after the countenance of Felix Kubin; free-range chickens lay personalized eggs for Miki Mikron; Gunter Adler goes dove hunting every winter and the Groenland Orchestra plays in accord with the field workers during kale harvest.
The uppermost salad heads in this fruitful manure patch are Gavin Schalkalwis and Fredrik Nedelmann. The two boys have orderly dressing on their noggins and think everything they do is so gnarly; they can often only express it in music. Thus the slogan: "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang", the name of hottest country boy-band since the funky chicken. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang snatch up their high-tech hobby organs and defile them as if they were guitars. What comes out is righteous horse-funk and they donŐt forget to sink their tubers in the milk-machine.
ItŐs HOT!!! Kiss Kiss Bang BangŐs characteristic sound is so degenerate, for reasons of piety, the boys canŐt issue it on their own label. Therefore, they are on a quest for a record company, that could have marketable interest in its chubby-cheeked, techno-soul-elektrock-rave-sound. Quest is an exaggeration, for if the lecherous boys are honest, they love to play live - because of the chickens and the milk-machine, as well as the drudgery of it.
They knew they needed fresh meat and found it in a Hamburg grain silo. There Teobi, somewhat akin to a Ginger-edition of Prince is, operates, a hard liquor distillery in order to oil his throat. The liquid is a must for the doubly, granular timbre of his voice and a certain blood alcohol level imbues the youthful graffiti-lilting-singer-MC with a boyish charm. He paints totally obscene, organic objects in his leisure time.
Being that close knit, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang has now finally entered the professional league of technoid-rural sex-entertainment and should be strongly booked accordingly.
EveryoneŐs a winner!
Those who really want to know how awesome these boys act is, should discretely visit the Golden Poodle Club or inquire on the MS Stubnitz or ask the pimps of MFOC - they ve all made bank with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
- Gerd Ribbeck [translated by Lori Muenz]
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